Concrete and blondes.

I was at a bar the other night and I saw a hottie. She was not only a hottie, she was a very hottie (blonde, big tits, nice ass etc). Unfortunately, she was with some asshole who was about 6 feet 4 and 250 pounds with arms as big as my dick (okay maybe not that big). I decided not to confront him directly as I didn’t want to embarrass him by kicking his ass in such a crowded place. Also, this happened to be a Saturday and I try to keep a lid on my violent outbursts the day before the Sabbath.

A few moments later the hot chick headed off to the bathroom, leaving the guy by himself leaning against the wall. I took out a ninja star from my ninja pouch (I keep a pouch full of ninja weapons stashed in my gotch) and threw it at him. I was not trying to hurt him, but was trying to pin him to the wall by his shirt. Unfortunately, a sudden gust of wind took the ninja star off target. Instead of the ninja star nailing his shirt into the wall, it veered a bit left and hit some chick on the dance floor. Right in the tit. Oops.

Everyone proceeded to go apeshit when they realized what happened to the girl. I personally don’t know why everyone was getting so upset. The chick obviously had another breast that was perfectly fine and probably remains unpierced by a ninja star to this very day. If she had been a one-titted Amazon chick then it would be a different story. But she wasn’t. Anyway, due to my ninja skills, no one realized that I was the one that had thrown the ninja star. While everyone was distracted, I ran to the women’s bathroom where the very hottie was. Just as I got to the door, she came out in a rush obviously frightened at all the screaming. I grabbed her by the arm and told her what happened (there was a terrorist bombing attack by separatist Manitobans) and said that she had to get out of there. The two of us made it up the stairs and out onto the street (which was not as easy as it sounds as the bar was on the top floor of the building). I then had to tell her the complete truth in a conversation which I now report to you verbatim:

“My name is McGunch. Fluwten McGunch. I have to be totally honest with you. There was no terrorist attack in the bar. I had to get you out here though because that brings us slightly closer to a taxi. A taxi can take us back to your place. After we arrive at your place, assuming you ask me politely enough, you will enjoy the distinction of having my manstick penetrate into your womancave.”

She was so overcome by lust and desire that she lost all bodily control. Her face contorted and her knee rose swiftly and forcefully into my groin. At that moment I noticed the excellent work that the city crews had done on the sidewalk and decided to lay down on the ground and get a better look at it. The concrete sidewalk showed such excellent use of shape and contour that I lay there for a good ten minutes studying it. I was engrossed in this urban artwork that I lost track of the very hottie. I wasn’t disappointed though. I don’t want anything to do with a chick who obviously has no appreciation for the better things in life such as finely poured concrete.

I never did get my ninja star back though. If you see a chick walking around town with a ninja star stuck in her tit, can you tell her to get it back to me ASAP? Thanks.